If it's not a Hell Yes, It's a Hell No.

If it’s not a Hell Yes, it’s a Hell No.

Today is a big day over here. I’ve been toiling away with idea after idea and I’m finally putting rubber to the road on a few of them that lead up to a whole bunch of love, light, exploration, connection, courage, freedom, creativity, laughter, and a little sass thrown in to keep it real. But first, a little background…
Every year my family chooses a family word or phrase to live by for the year. It always brings us inspiration in the tough moments and helps us open our hearts and minds to welcome in a new mindset or approach to overcome our fears, limiting beliefs and the gremlins waiting to slap our cheeks and spit in our faces. Our collective word is OPEN. My kids felt pretty strongly that after this big move, we need to continually open our minds to all the possibilities ahead, even when they don’t seem like possibilities at all. Pretty profound for the kids but we all know they know way more than us, anyway… Open is not just about exploration, but about receiving what is here for us. It’s seeing all around us with fresh eyes and a willingness to say yes. I often choose a personal word too and somehow they usually align and grow into a three word mantra that I can rely on to keep me in forward motion. My word came to me in a very painful, visceral way but I’ll save that for a whole other post (stay tuned!). The word isn’t fancy but it’s powerful. It’s UNSTUCK and you better believe I’m getting myself in motion, messy or not. It’s been a long time coming, full of lots of twists and turns along the way. A lot of self doubt and if you are anything like me, January is a full on recovery month from all that crazy as the previous year wraps up. I get a little into FOMO with all the kickstarts and gung-hos that stream through my feed but I’ve found that I just need to do me - so January is a pause and refresh for me. Those previous months are a blur and while I set intentions and choose a word for the coming year, the actual actions get a little fuzzy in that long month of Jan. February is the new January anyway, am I right?! I find that I often need to buck up and fight against all my preconceived notions of where and what I should be doing. Letting go of January as the month when I get my workouts on and my shit together for the upcoming year is one of those things. January is the pause I crave before I push play. So whatever date it is… let’s go. Action begets more action and it’s the perfect way to spark up that romance with the law of attraction and get really cozy with your desires. My whole year’s mantra phrase is actually Open. Unstuck. Free. and while they might not seem like big, sophisticated words - they hold a lifetime of weight. 

As some of you know, we relocated to a new city about 6 months ago and it hasn’t been the smoothest transition ever documented. Time and time again, we’ve had to root down into our growth mindsets and out-game our deepest limiting beliefs and negative self talk. We’ve pushed ourselves way out of our comfort zones and this is no different. Today, I’m launching something that is designed to keep me accountable and consistent in showing up and moving forward. Something that scares me a little but also pumps adrenaline through me in a way that lights me up. 

The image above is hanging in front of my desk so I can look at it a million times a day and remember to keep going. When I’m doubting myself and hanging with limiting beliefs about my dreams, I look up at this and remember: 

 If it’s not a Hell Yes, it’s a Hell No. 

When I think I have nothing to say or I’m not enough, I remember that my future depends on what I do today - just take action. Even the smallest step in the direction of your dreams matters. Actually, it makes all the difference. Action begets action and starts the roll of momentum. So yeah, today I’m doing something that is scary but a total Hell Yes, perfectly aligned in a way that makes my heart beat a bit faster.  Committing publicly makes it real and ups the ante. 

On March 2, I’m launching a podcast named, The Hell Yes Habit where we will delve into all the juice on what living unapologetically authentic really means. It’s a conversation about love (self and otherwise), freedom, courage, and creativity in the pursuit of living your best life on your own terms. Not what you should do but how to really live out loud as YOU, calling in all of your big ass dreams. Embodying freedom, love, and connection at a whole new level. 

Our big life plans and goals are the product of the consistent habits, practices, awarenesses, side doors, magic and mindsets that clear the path, align us to what we desire, and attract it to our sweet little hearts. 

In honor of these little steps that create a big impact, I’m committing to a new practice for the next 30 days leading up to the launch. I’ll post one or more #lillovebombs a day every day to establish a new, consistent habit AND go live on a juicy topic twice a week to dive in and explore how to let it be easy to move forward towards that hell yes life. I’ve got a whole calendar of high-vibers joining me to amp up the conversation but it’s the solo lives that scare me the most. What will I say when I don’t have the banter and camaraderie of my high vibe gal pals?? We shall see. It will be my threshold to walk through and find my footing. If habits and practices are the key to our successes, let’s wee what happens with I curate and develop one in public. I’m scared to do all of these things.. What if I flub it up? People don’t like me? I say the wrong thing? It’s dumb??? I dunno… There is something kinda exciting about just going for it, acknowledging that I’m new at it, just starting out and stepping into the messiness of it all. Is this really an exercise in the freedom that living a Hell Yes provides??

So yeah… I’m recording podcast episodes and spending the next 30 days showing the eff up to post an inspiring art piece or photo coupled with my take on what’s really waiting here for all of us. It’s about showing up consistently, even when I don’t think I’m good enough, to deliver a little hit of inspiration and respite… or a kick in the pants if that’s how you need to see it. The lives will dive into some of the lessons and habits that simply put me in the right place at the right time and some juicy conversations with some seriously high vibe royalty. I’ve been having these conversations for a long time now and it’s a crime to not share them out! It’s full of all of the things that I think make for a hell yes life. Stay tuned on Mondays to kick off the week high and Fridays to move into your weekend with intention and sass. Keep me accountable y’all!!! 

And tonight, I’m also finally returning to the ball field after the relocation to head coach a new softball team, in a new league, in a new town… In all honesty, I don’t feel fully prepared this time around but I’m doing it anyway. Pushing through self doubt to remember exactly what I have to give. And I will give it fully. Working hard to let go of the voice in my head that wonders if the assistant coach will think I’m a hack… I’m not so I better root into that for sure! That question of “what if I fall?” keeps popping back in my head. But the truth is, what if I fly? Soar? Take off, find my wings and bring some others along for the ride? 

Hell Yes is a badass version of Alignment.. perhaps the verbal expression of the power it holds. And #lillovebombs are the nuggets that guide and protect us on the path. I’m ready to explore all the wisdom they have to give, all the tips and tricks and new paths that people offer up along the way to living their best lives. 

 Everything worth anything is on the other side of courage. So, let’s go get it. To that, I’ll say: HELL YES! 

 Check it out on IG at k_nellor

Freedom is Something You Take.

Flip that painting on its side and make it whatever you desire.

How have we already arrived at the last day of the first month of 2022? How is it possible? Where have the last two years and one month gone? I mean… well… for me, they have been pretty much filled with intense personal development, home schooling, job loss, stepping into the next evolution of my career, devouring podcasts, missing family and friends, virtual meetups and happy hours, learning to be an entrepreneur, parenting like a mofo, imposter syndrome, washing my hands a ridiculous amount, volunteering at school, lots and lots of classes, coaching sports and life, reconnecting, letting go, getting a giant puppy, finding flow and then losing it, then finding it, starting a meditation practice and a morning practice and discovering that my art is another wellness practice, almost losing it all, seeing some people for what they really are, doing art, feeling my feelings, floating, carrying the emotional weight of my family, realizing that being outside is essential to my being, getting soul coach certified, that I sort of like the beach in some situations, surrendering, desiring more ease and alignment, family bike rides, working to release guilt, writing my first multi-authored book that became an international bestseller, goofing with my kids, going in and out of FOMO on the regular, watching more movies than I ever thought possible (many a series in sequential order), making recycled robots for fun, chopping off my pandemic hair only to hate it and eagerly await it to grow back, purging a ton of material goods I’ve been carrying around from state to state for decades, hosting an empowered art camp for tween girls, hugging my mom after way too long without seeing her, waffling, taking action, mastermining with legit Queens in the ring, getting vulnerable AF, inviting help and support, softball, sharing my gifts, selling a beloved house, saying goodbye to friends and familiarity, meeting new people, oh yeah… and a massive relocation to a new, unfamiliar city. I literally can’t recall much from the last 6 months alone, which is how long we’ve lived in our new town. It’s been a ride, y’all. 

But ain’t this life? Aren’t we beings that find ourselves riding these big waves and finding the sweet spot when we can? If there is anything that this pandemic has taught me, it’s that we can’t keep waiting, hoping for the right conditions to do the things we desire most. Watching the passage of time during this time has shown both that it flies by in a blur, and is also the slowest thing you will ever experience. It all depends on the vantage through which you see it. What lense do you have in place? For a lot of people, these past two years have been incredibly painful. In many ways, they have been for me too. But they also forced me to slow down and take stock in what I have right here in front of me. They asked me to get really intentional about how I spend my time, and how I want to spend my time in the future. There are some things I miss so much and others that I don’t wish to have return. And in that lies clarity and awareness. The fact of the matter is that when we got locked down in our homes, I went on a fascinating journey into the depths of my soul that opened up adventures I didn’t even know I desired. One recurring theme throughout this crazy time is that people are looking for freedom. Freedom from masks, from rules and regulations, from the fear of imminent danger. Freedom from commutes or from distance learning. Freedom from what it looks like to get quiet and ask yourself the hard questions about what is next, why have you been waiting to do the thing? And in all of the murkiness, little signs emerge that tell us the next right step. The next best action. What has really become crystal clear for me is that in all of this chaos, the only thing certain is that Freedom is something you take. You are not given it and you don’t have to earn it. It is within our own minds. Freedom is a state of mind that is always floating right there in front of us but we have to reach out and grab it. Seize that very precious moment that opens the cage door and invites you to simply step through the threshold. Freedom is something you take in every moment and every situation. You define your own freedom. It’s yours and it’s waiting, you just have to have the guts to take it and breathe life into it.

ALL WHOPPERJAWLED - And Still a Hell Yes Kinda Thing

When Life Gets Twisted, Don’t Get Twisted

If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a HELL NO.

Have you heard this phrase? It took me a really long time to get behind this concept cuz’ well, I’m sort of a complex being. I’m a Libra who finds balance to be the way of the word, my grandpa was a judge who taught me how to argue, I am incredibly empathetic and tend to take on the emotions of everyone around me, I’m a recovering perfectionist, and I went to art school to create beauty and meaning which led me straight to creative direction, branding and strategy so I can pretty much spin a story for whatever side of the coin I need to… with resonance, meaning, and most of all - soul.  I have a skill for hearing and seeing the details that ordinarily go unnoticed. That makes me a great liaison and out of the box thinker so I can help work out any issues that fall in the path but it has tended to land me in the ‘always a yes’ category in the past, even when I don’t want to be a yes, which then leads to burnout and resentment, stress and anxiety… all the things that should be a definite HELL NO. So, how then do we get to a Hell Yes and why is it so important? 

Because Hell Yes is really just a bit more of a badass way of saying, Alignment. Or perhaps it’s just the outward expression we exclaim when everything inside of us is lining up and the shit is getting real. The embodiment of alignment… adding in feelings and emotion. It’s a way of not only identifying, but calling in those things that light you up and propel you forward to live the life of your dreams. On your own damn terms. What is Hell Yes to you may not be what is Hell Yes to someone else but no matter because you have alignment. You know it’s for you and you go for it. But… life gets messy so what are the practices, reminders, and side doors that keep you moving to that life even when you feel twisted? 

Let me ask you this: Have you ever woken up in the morning and your pajama pants are all twisted around you, one leg going one way, the other one the opposite direction, and the crotch seam is nowhere near the center of your body? It’s all the same soft fabric that comforted you to sleep but now it’s wrapped around you in a way that is not soothing at all. Honey, you are misaligned! This is what my grandma called, “Being all whopperjawled.” It’s a word I grew up with that completely embodies the feeling it is striving to convey. That things are simply going awry. Anytime I heard it, I knew exactly what that person was experiencing. My own sort of onomatopoeia, I suppose. And it’s how I see life. Things show up that you think you don’t want or can't handle and you get all bent out of shape, twisted up in negative self-talk, limiting beliefs and decades of conditioning that hold you hostage and tell you that you simply aren’t enough to achieve your goals and live out your dreams. But just like those twisted pants, you can simply notice it, stand up and take action to bring that waistband back to front and center and move on with your day. Better yet, you can even choose to change out of those jammies, into something that inspires you and sets the stage for your next intentional action. You have the power to only say yes to the things that line up with you. You are allowed to make it easy… see the clues that help you iron out those wrinkles. 

So I’m here to help shine a light on what is holding us back and how the heck to go over, around, or through it… better yet to just let it go and move on past it to actually get to the life you can’t wait to wake up to. No excuses. No worry with the how… just staying connected to the vision that you desire and the inner knowing that you not only deserve it, but that it’s out there waiting for you to call it in. It is already yours. Living a Hell Yes life isn’t just about the big, broad strokes. It’s about all the little daily choices and habits that all lead up to living out your dreams. It takes practice, consistency, high-vibe self talk and a belief that you are worth every part of it. It’s living unapologetically authentic and finding the nuggets of love and goodness in every moment, even in the face of the twisted. If we are gonna lead a badass life, we are gonna need some artillery to protect and inspire us along the way. To keep us going strong in our hearts, mind, and soul. Seeing the meaning beyond what is visible and following the golden thread of connection and alignment is a gift. Get ready for a treasure trove of lil’ love bombs coming your way straight from my head to my heart to my hand and beyond.

Adventure Awaits

When I was in high school in Kansas, I couldn’t decide what I liked more: writing or creating visual art. It was a huge struggle for me and I split my time between two accelerated programs that allowed me to deeply explore and revel in both. But I really couldn’t choose which I loved more. Others would praise me for my visual art skills but writing doesn’t immediately illicit that same praise - not at that level anyway - but it lit me up. I loved both subjects and threw my heart into both but there is just something about the unbridled imagination that flows into a literary piece and words are easily accessible in a way that visual art falls short many times. See, even now I can balance the two out with equal but different pros and cons. It’s a thing I do… see the balance in things. I tend to understand the nuances that are unseen by most in a way that runs a connective tissue through them. It has led me to fall into a liason role in just about every facet of my life whether I wanted it or not. Ah, but I digress. This is about word and image not about my tendencies… or perhaps that’s exactly what it’s about. My tendency to dig for meaning beyond what is evident. To identify the essence of a person, situation, brand, relationship… you name it, I find it and people aren’t always ready to hear or see it. It gets me into a bit of trouble now and again. Both mediums of personal expression: word and image are powerful and have rooted themselves deeply in my life. So much so that my teachers for each subject travelled over 1,400 miles many years later to attend my wedding in NYC. The vast majority of my very large extended family declined that same invitation so you can see the weight of these relationships on my life. Anyway, it wasn’t until I learned of something called graphic design that I realized that I could blend those two loves together to make deep, amazing meaning. That I could tell a story with the senses and help to transform and move people. I fell deeply in love with this idea and it consumed me so much that while at The Rhode Island School of Design, I stayed steadfast in the GD department even though I felt called to printmaking, glassblowing, and textile design. I told myself that I could wrap that all into graphic design in good time so just stay laser focused on the prize. I pursued my dreams at RISD and then headed into the world to happen upon branding and brand strategy and those, my friends, drove the next 20 years of my life. To me, Branding was the ultimate in blending those two loves and it was pure joy to help brands big and small tell their unique stories, sell their newest amazing thing, and differentiate from the competitors. I got to do some pretty fantastic work during that time, naming the Roomba floor vac, working with Robert DeNiro to launch Nobu Hotels, and even some work on the sets of the Oscars. It was pretty fantastic until it wasn’t. It took so much out of me to run at that level but I was rising through the ranks at a rapid pace and soon found myself as a Creative Director leading an entire studio of creative powerhouses… pulling all-nighters together and creating on demand. The design field is treacherous and sucks a lot out of you if you let it. I let it. I believed that the sacrifices made me better, more capable, more creative, more legit. I was running huge campaigns for Coca-cola and Covergirl and on the outside, it looked pretty fabulous but I was losing myself every minute. Sure, it was fun and thrilling…. but at what cost? I had always run the strategy of go, go, go - stealing from sleep to accomplish magical work that blew clients away. I thrived on that external validation, I loved to save the day… truth be told, I still kinda love that feeling. But I forgot about me entirely and over time I lost touch with what I really wanted most, which was to tell stories, make connections, bring the unseen into the light, truly help others and be of service, find the crux of it - the essence - and then authentically breathe life into it. I had forgotten to own my own story. I got married, became a mom, lost myself some more, dove into parenthood with the same zest and passion that I had with my career and hit the same wall. So I decided it was time to look inward and reconnect with that little girl who knew she just wanted to be free, create, and move people. I’ve been on this excavation journey for over a decade now and it’s been a trip. In that time, we’ve had two kids, 3 homes, lived on both coasts, at least 17 crazy over the top handmade and designed kid birthday parties, many exciting jobs and some not so much, tears, laughter, and a shit ton of epiphanies.

We moved from Brooklyn, which I loved tremendously by the way, to the East Bay five years ago to try something new, to grow and learn, and to push out of our comfort zones. Most importantly, we saw that we were headed into the next phase of our lives and instead of following the safe path of heading to a suburb, trying to recreate our crazy city life, we decided to choose adventure. It was time to stop talking about it and put our money where our mouths were and teach our children that life is an adventure and we are at the helm. We are the architects of our own dreams, we belong wherever we want to belong, and home is simply where you make it. That’s not all rainbows and unicorns like it sounds but we rooted down in the belief that if it’s a mistake you can either shift your priorities or course correct. It’s all within our power. So we moved across the country to SF where we didn’t know a soul and began to set up camp and put down roots. It has taken a really long time to feel settled. Well, not so much for the kids who went to sleep in Brooklyn and woke up in Berkeley and never missed a beat. The adults…. yeah, not so much. It was just before Covid hit that we were finally feeling great about being here and what we had created in the last five years. Throughout the stay at home orders and spikes in cases, we have fallen madly in love with our house, especially our backyard, the weather, and the landscape of this beautiful place. So it’s no surprise that we invited in joy, happiness, growth, and love… and even more adventure!

Ravi unexpectedly lost his job to Covid, a job he really loved full of fun and exciting work that truly helped people live better lives. It was a huge wakeup call for us as we struggled all summer to land a new gig. I say we because it was a total team effort. We are good like that… creativity and collaboration are our love languages so you hand us a disaster and we are gonna find the golden thread to pull you through and find something cooler on the other side. He found an incredible opportunity with a new company but it involves another move. It took a hot minute for us to wrap our heads around that but we came to the conclusion, perhaps kicking and screaming, that one of our family core values is adventure. Not the trekking through the Amazon kind of adventure per se, but stepping into the unknown and saying yes to possibility. Sometimes I may dwell too long in possibility and not enough action… but that is a topic for another day and grace is also a very powerful tool in the toolbox. And well, if we are living our values, here’s to life being an adventure….

So that brings us to now. Given the opportunity that came to us out of necessity, coupled with our sense of discovery and adventure, we have been given the almost impossible choice to leave yet another place we’ve fallen in love with and CHOOSE where the next leg of our big family adventure will take us. We get to choose between L.A. and Vancouver B.C. What?! Yep, two incredible places that we have either never been to or only vacationed at a couple of times. How do you make that choice? In a global pandemic with cases on the rise? Well… you look at what’s in front of you and you find the gems, then you draw the thread and you root yourself in deep gratitude… and get really freaking creative. Then you let go of some of the resistances; the would haves, could haves, should haves and have the courage to ask for what you want and need. Oh and trust… trust is a big ol’ whopping ingredient in adventure. Trust that you are worthy and deserving, trust that it will happen, trust that there are forces at work in your favor if you get out of your own way. And guess what?! It generally comes to you. Maybe not in the exact way you anticipated, but surely in exactly how you need it to be. Whether you know it or not. So, while we would never have hoped for our children to be in distance learning, working from home and isolated from friends and family… it’s a blessing because we can do that from any location. As we are all remote working at the moment, we can pick up the whole family and head to each city to spend some real time there. To live, work, explore, and test it out. What an amazing opportunity to be still and listen to the whispers of change in our ears. Go grab the vibe and see what fits best for all four personalities in our crew. It actually offers up so much more opportunity than had this been in pre-Covid times. We get to experience these places and choose as a family what’s next for us. It’s bittersweet and invigorating all at the same time. We are all in a time where many things are simply out of our control and I am keenly aware that this is overwhelmingly the case with children right now. They are being told where they can and can’t go, who they can go with, what is safe or not, that a space they thought of as extremely safe: school is no longer safe in the same ways they knew, how to engage with school, how to be with friends… the world. They are resilient beings, this is true - and they are living through uncertainty with no handle for comfort in a way that we could not fathom 9 months ago. This move will be an added layer to that story so we believe it’s important to hear their voices, wishes, desires, dreams, and to empower them to believe they matter. So we get the beautiful opportunity to go on an adventure together, to explore two amazing places and to contemplate what’s next for us all, while navigating an ever increasing global pandemic. There will be bumps along the way and it’s not going to be all rainbows and unicorns but that’s the beauty of it all. We believe that creativity always saves the day so it’s time to show up and show out. Again.

So here’s to the journey into the unknown, and to stepping forward with an open heart to embrace it all. We are here to share the journey in real time. To note the challenges, the failures, the triumphs and nuances… all the crazy business that goes along with change. Big or small. We are all creatures of habit so the unknown is scary… and fear is debilitating. But this time, I’ve got some new tools in my belt that help me to speak my truth and thank fear for showing up. And then, like a velvet hammer I will simply tell fear to step the eff back up. I’m choosing differently.

Here’s to that journey. Creativity saves the day. Adventure awaits….